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I'm sickly

I am sick again.. I wish that sickness just like went away... I have the coughs.. the pflegm..the sniffly nose.. it's horendous! I can't sleep...I am watching Planet Terror.. yay! Rose Mcgowan is HOT!!!
I am hoping to get my check either Friday or Saturday! hells yeah! then perhaps Liz and I will travel to the far off land of Berkeley.. hoping that we have enough to travel this week! Next check is strictly a bills check!..

I'm rambling...

I have been having a lot of nightmares lately....

We watched Schindler's List today and I hope I don't dream about that.. It made me cry.. as it always does..

We watched Grapes of Wrath the other night..that made me cry and I had SEVERE nightmares about it.. I dreamt that it was another Great Depression and we had to kill and eat the cats to survive.. it was really traumatic...

Checkerz new nickname is Chubbs..because she is now successfully belly bulge gato numero tres..yes...

Although I am quite a lesbian.. I think Freddy Rodriguez is handsome.. 

I keep having a recurring dream about Lorena...It's more of a nightmare..because nothing would make me happier than to not ever see her again.. so imagine my distress when she recurrs in my dreams..

So...the dream is.. Liz and I are having sex.. and someone knocks on the window.. and I get scared..as I usually do when someone knocks and we aren't expecting them.. I'm weird.. it freaks me out...anyway.. so Liz looks and says..Oh shit! I think it's Lorena?? she gets in somehow.. like the door is left open, or the keys are in the door? and I'm like what the fuck are you doing here Lorena? and she's like flustered or some nonsense..and I say, this is my wife Liz and I tell her(Lorena) to leave, that she has no business here.. and she tries to pet Baloo and I pretty much get up with my blanket wrapped around me, cause I'm butt neked.. and more or less remove her from the house.. I never get to the end of the dream... I always wake up.. I know there is more.. because as I am removing her from the house she goes to say something.. like she turns around when she gets down the stairs..but it's over..I keep having the dream... sometimes it's in black and white..sometimes in color..the weather is often different..it's just weird... I dunno what any of it means..I am just tired of having all these nightmares.. of the depression and stuff.. it is perhaps because of me being sick.. I haven't slept well in almost a week now.. waking up every few hours.. is horrible...anywho...

Liz is asleep...she will soon begin snoring... she'll wakeup soon..turn over and reach for me and I won't be in bed next to her.. I should go to bed..if not just to feel her near me.. It usually makes me fall asleep.. I've never felt what I feel for Liz for anyone...Not even Lorena.. I've known Liz such a short time and it feels like we have known each other forever.. I can't even explain it.. we read each others mind, it's insane.. but it's awesome and amazing.. and.. I love her.. :) She literally makes me feel, just.. comfortable and alive and emotional and myself.. I can be myself with her.. anyway.. to bed now.. nighty night

 

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
willows69
Feb. 26th, 2009 08:27 pm (UTC)
Pretty freaky.

SL was pretty sad.. hopefully you won't have nightmares tonight when we watch SAW IV!!!! dun-Dun-DUN!!!! lol. <3

Cookies!!!!!!!!!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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